WEBVTT
Hi everyone, and welcome to
another Mystery School podcast.
I'm your host, Jacob Cox,
and we have another great episode for you guys tonight.
And I'm super excited to have Dee McKenzie here
with me in the studio.
And we are gonna talk about some really good things.
Um, I've known Dee for a little while now,
a couple years I think, and always had good conversations.
Always feels like we just known each other for a long time.
I think probably a lot of past lives or something.
So, um, I think even we were talking
before everything got started
and I was like, man, we were, we were way into it.
I hope we should be recording already.
So I think it's just gonna flow
and be really fun and be really awesome.
Um, like I said, I've known her
for a little while now, a couple years.
I think she spoke at Awaken the tribe
that we did in February.
Um, she did an awesome job, awesome presentation,
and I think she's just a little bit on
fire with the public speaking.
So I,
and then I think you said you listened
to the Freedom podcast that we did, um,
and I think that just ignited her even more.
So we're happy to have her here with us.
Dee, thanks for being here.
If you want to introduce yourself a little
bit, feel free. And
Yeah. So, um,
Dick Kinzie, I am, um,
currently on my own mission
to help folks understand the power of their own healing
through the somatic processing.
And, um, that, that happened
for me because I had gotten myself cornered, you know,
by all accounts I was active, healthy, successful,
I was working, had a job, had great, you know,
great circle of friends.
Everything looked great.
Um, but I'd gotten myself really sick.
And through that experience, I've been doing all the work.
Um, but for some reason, I was,
there was something that was missing.
And I, to shorten the story, somatic processing entered into
a deep, a deeper understanding
of somatic processing entered into my, into my world.
And through that, um, through that experience, I was able
to really get after some of the, the, um,
the physical pain, the emotional pain, the spiritual pain.
And I could reconnect with my world
and other people in a whole new way.
And so when we talked about freedom mm-hmm.
When I heard you speaking about freedom
and, you know, the different topics you were covering,
I felt like there was another level that I would, I wanted
to, I was hungry to talk
to you about it in the conversations that we have,
because I wanna drop underneath that a little bit.
And because when we are free here mm-hmm.
Expression, a human expression, we are able
to be even more free and experience freedom differently.
Right. We're able to, you were ta you
and I were talking about this ebb
and flow of life when we are hunkered
into a protective stance.
When we are locked into fight, we're locked into flight,
or we're frozen because we can't do either of those.
Where for me, it was a toxic job.
Like I had to just go be there every day.
So I was in a frozen response.
My ability to learn and communicate
and be in that environment mm-hmm.
Or in my world was so limited
and my body reflected that back to me.
I could hardly move my joints, my muscles hurt,
my digestion wasn't working.
And then that clawed my brain.
And then next thing you know, I'm having a hard time
with all kinds of things and I'm getting frustrated
and angry and, you know, just pile, pile pile, pile, pile.
So I'm here
because I was just passionate
about sharing this with people.
I wanna plant seeds, let people know
that this is even something that, that we're not told about.
Right. Like, that our bodies can keep us.
It's, it's, it's designed to keep us safe. Yeah.
It's beautiful. Yeah.
But because we haven't learned how to process
our responses to our environment in a healthy way,
we store it.
And when we store it, when I was just talking about,
we pile it in
and we start to experience these, these, these, um, twisted,
you know, the body gets constricted and the chemistry's off
and everything just gets a lot of whack.
So that's what I'm here hoping to just dialogue
with you tonight and just see what comes up.
I'd love to share more about it.
We, um, I worked, my business partner is Susan Blue.
I, um, it's her work that we're modeling this after
because she has spent her life as the model
for somatic processing.
And she teaches this in a very experiential way.
It's not cognitive. Hmm.
I don't wanna give you something to think about.
I wanna give you something to feel about. Mm. Like that.
And when you feel it, you can move it. You can.
And when you move it, it leaves, right?
You have pain release, you have the tension go away.
You have clarity like you've never had before.
So, Susan Blue's work has, is the thing
that brought me back to health.
And now I've been constantly studying
with her, will never be done.
Mm-hmm. But this is, this, the blue method is
what I am on a mission to get out into the world
and as many platforms as I can.
And we are doing introductory courses all the time,
but as many times as I can get front of people to tell 'em
that this is, there's another possibility
for their life, that's what I wanna do.
Do you want to tell everybody a little bit more about
what the Blue Method is?
I would love to, yeah, go ahead.
I feel like, 'cause I'm, I mean, I'm like,
I think I know a little bit
and I feel like when you just said there,
I'm like, oh man, I wanna know more about it.
I don't know enough about it, so. Sure,
Sure. So the blue method,
again, Susan Blue, um,
is a framework to help people step through
and learn how to reconnect with themselves.
So each, each letter has its own, um, step.
So the be in the blue method is to breathe
and befriend your body.
So it's just like, you started this episode, we stopped.
Yeah. We settled in and we got connected. Mm-hmm.
And what the beautiful part is when we connected
with ourselves, we connected and we connected.
Right, absolutely. With everybody. Absolutely.
And that's how it works. So when we stop, we breathe,
we take a breath, the breath of life can't be more grounding
and we take it for granted.
So learning actually be with the breath.
And it sounds at the surface level.
That's why we're not cognitive.
We don't wanna give you this big old, we know workbook
of things to, to learn about.
We want to give you a simple framework to experience.
So when you breathe and you reframe your body, you just stop
and you settle in the l it in the blue method
is to locate, we want to find in our body the thing
that's loudest, because most of us,
The thing that's the loudest. The
Loudest Oh, the loudest, okay.
Because we probably have a lot of things that we've,
we've piled on and it's easy
to get overwhelmed if we're not careful
with trying to solve everything at once. So
That's kind of looking at the thing that's screaming out
that needs to help, that needs some
love, you know? Right. I
Have a pain in my arm.
For me it was like most recently his shoulder,
and I forget, ah, I forget.
So, you know, just being with it, locating it Right.
And breathing into that spot.
And as soon as we start to do that in a very genuine way,
we start to unwind it so that you is to unwind, be
with it, let it show you and let it soften.
And the e is to experience, right? Mm-hmm.
And, um, integrate that, that new version of you.
Because when you are able to release that
and that moves outta the body,
a whole new level of you shows up.
Mm-hmm. And of course, boop, there comes the next thing.
Right? Yeah. So we, the blue method is just a way to,
to really just get in the habit of doing this,
because it took me a while,
but now, you know, when I experience something
and I feel that emotion coming up, someone cuts me off,
it could be as something as traffic.
Mm-hmm. Or it could be something
of this long term work thing that you got going on.
Yeah. Just noticing that anxiety is, it's bubbling up.
Instead of resisting and hunkering, hunkering down
and taking a posture with it, you're able to go, okay,
I'm just gonna breathe into that.
'cause that's feeling, it feels big
and as soon as you just look at it,
you just turn your focus to it.
Yeah. It immediately will start to, to take,
take it down a notch,
and it gives you a little bit of a foothold
into more possibility for you.
Hmm. Um, so that this, this is, this is the journey
and, um, there's obviously more that surrounds that
because of how we are in the world
and how we wanna integrate our ourselves into it.
But the, the framework is what this, what surrounds
or is the foundation of all this.
Right. And I love that too.
It's not like some blue drink that you're gonna drink. No.
There's nothing wrong with that. But, you know,
I feel like the blue mouth, you're like, is it gonna be,
we're gonna drink some blue stuff
or something like, no, but it's about you.
It's about tune into your body, where's things going on?
Locate it, love it. You know, and experience that.
I think that's awesome. So I think that's
where I'm definitely at
and where I've been with some of my things that have gone,
I had autoimmune disease for Oh wow.
Probably over a decade. Uh, yeah.
I don't even remember now how long it was, but probably 11
or 12, 13 years, something like that.
And I went
to the doctor and they were like, we can't do anything.
We can give you these antihistamine pills and make you tired
and they don't do anything.
But I was, I was like, there's no way in the world
that I'm going to continue to take this all day.
So I did, I, I mean, I kind of did that.
I just, what, what's going on? Where do I need?
And I just started asking questions. Oh, beautiful. Yeah.
And that was like 21. So he was young, you know, at 2020.
Um, so I lies. Yeah. Right. I was just like, it's something.
I was like, I know there's gotta be something else.
And I'm not even, I went to the doctor a couple times
and they like said they, we don't know how,
we don't know how it happened.
We don't know whether it's gonna go away or not.
We can only do this to make you feel, you know, not Yeah.
Survive it. That's it. Yeah. Survive it.
That's we got for you. I was like, I
that, that's not good enough.
You know? So I, I did, I, I listened
and, you know, it was like, eat better.
It was like, have better emotions do yoga.
And then eventually one day it was just gone.
And it was like, I mean, I had, it was like, they called it,
uh, aria urticaria, people call it.
Um, but my skin would get really crazy itchy,
and I could like ride on my skin just barely
with my fingernail, and it would raise up heavy.
Oh my gosh. Red hot. Oh, whelps.
And in the exact way I wrote my name,
it was just really weird and really strange.
But I mean, I, I contributed
that I healed myself, you know what I mean? Like, I, um,
It's just what's available to us.
It's what's available. Right. And it was like, I,
I'm not special, like anybody could do it,
but you have to tap, tap in and listen. It's a
Decision we make because it's really about whether we
wanna give the authority to somebody else.
Mm-hmm. And this kind of ties back into my passion
for your topic of freedom.
Mm-hmm. Because we can give our authority to someone else.
Yeah. And we can survive the experience.
We can have surgery
and we can keep altering our body 'cause it keeps hurting.
Or, you know, things aren't, are out of alignment. Oh.
Oh my gosh. It's outta alignment. 'cause we've been
constricted for our life.
Right. But it's giving our authority to somebody else
rather than knowing that we have this potential within us.
Right. And it's simpler than we think it is.
And it's so simple. In fact, we don't even wanna do it.
Yeah. There's times when I just wanna
be miserable for some reason.
I just wanna be hunkered in my anxiety or my whatever,
and I get off on a tangent
and all I have to do is just stop.
But it is, it's a, it's a muscle we have to build. Mm-hmm.
And it's a decision we make to,
to free ourselves from those.
Yes. And I think it, it costs a lot.
It's a, it's a lot of responsibility that you have to take.
You know, it's like, this didn't ha randomly happen to me.
I'm not Oh, randomly sick conversation. Yes.
You know what I mean? Like, I, I, if I can heal it,
if I created it, then I can heal it.
And that's where, I mean, I told you earlier in one
of my first yoga sessions that I ever did,
I was just doing the old back bend, turn around,
and I had this euphoric release of, of what,
what was 100% grudges that I kept my whole life.
And I was just like, yeah.
I mean, I knew right then
and there I was like, man,
you'd hold grudges against people.
And I was Right. Right. I was right.
That I, and they were wrong.
And, and, but, you know, it's like
what Buddha said when he said,
if you wanna anger is like holding onto a hot coal
with the intent throwing at someone else,
but you're the one that gets burned.
And I got burned. I had this, you know, back pain
and everything that was really significant.
And I had no idea that I caused it.
I would never have thought that.
But, you know, going through the other class the first time
it was, it was a 100% release.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
There's another thing that I'm responsible for too.
You know? Yeah. I'm not just responsible for my health
and my wealth and my life, but my dis my dis-ease.
And I think that's one thing
that's really hard for people to realize.
Like that whole word, dis-ease. It's that simple.
It's just, you are not at ease.
You don't have to like, you know, do something super crazy.
But we've done all these things through our life
and through our lives that have, you know,
built on these diseases, built on this, this trauma
and these things that are heavy, hanging heavy in our body.
And, you know, really bringing down our, our nervous system
as you're saying, and just bringing down our
health in a, in a big way.
And it's not, it's really not as complicated as I think
that we make it out to be like, oh no,
we've just got into disease
'cause we're not in ease anymore.
If we were in ease and in flow and happy
and allowing our, you know, electrical systems
and the prana to come in and breathe
and, you know what I mean, you could heal
so much very easily.
Absolutely. And I think that's when you start to realize,
oh, if I can do that now, if anything else comes,
I can, I can do something else here.
I can heal cancer, I can heal anything.
And I think a master of
that can eventually heal it of anybody too. Yeah.
So I have a question for you. How did that change,
so you were able to release this grudge.
How did that change your
interaction with the world around you
Once that released?
Oh, I, I was very, very much aware of
the experience with other people.
So if someone else said something to me,
or, you know, someone judged me in a certain way
or expected something outta me,
or I expected them to do something, you know,
I'd say, Hey, are you gonna meet me here?
Help me move my stuff or something.
Um, and they didn't show up.
I wouldn't hold a judge be like, that dude's, you know,
wrong or whatever for not doing it.
I would just be like, that was something, a part of me
that made me realize, um, you know,
maybe I can do it on my own.
Or maybe I didn't show up for someone else,
and so someone didn't show up for me.
It just put all the responsibility in my
wheelhouse and my wheelhouse.
Right. The center Right, right here.
And it was like, if I am responsible
for all the things, you know Yeah.
Then I, then I can be responsible for my heaven too.
So I, I, I eventually I realized like I have
created my own hell on earth.
Yeah. Like, I got disease, I got the wrong partner.
I got a job that I, I, you know, I don't want anymore.
Um, all the things, I mean, I, I was at a right place
and I literally gave everything I had away except for
what fit in my car and drove to Colorado to work with kids.
So Oh, beautiful. Right.
I, I mean, I just gave it all up transition. Right.
It was very, very difficult to come work for $10 an hour
with, uh, you know, special needs people and Sure.
But I learned a lot and I gained a lot from that.
So that was, that was the point too.
It was like, you're gonna get a lot from this.
But I did, I, I just gave it all away and left.
And I knew, I knew that all the stuff that I had,
that I would get it back, I would get all the things back
and more, um, and I would manifest it.
And I think the thing that I really
made me have all the faith, you know,
and I was just like, I knew someone was been talking to me.
I knew I had angels. I knew God was talking to me. Yeah.
The books and the understandings and the epiphanies
and the ahas and the eurekas
and the synchronicities, they were all happening
to me hard, you know?
Great. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
So I was like, um, I, I knew it and I, here I am, you know,
and now I have way more, make way more and way more happier
and more, more love in my life and more Yeah.
You have freedom. More freedom
and more freedom than I ever thought
that could I even experience more freedom than I thought I
could ever even experience back then.
Right. And not because of anything outside of you,
but what you've created for yourself and your family.
Mm-hmm. And that's, you know, one
of the topics you had in your podcast, um, was
around spiritual freedom.
You talked about, you know, getting stuck in the past
or paying attention to the future.
Those are nervous system responses mm-hmm.
Of like, we are locked in survival,
so we are either anxious, we've been surprised
by something, so we're anxious.
Mm-hmm. And we are, we're anticipating you're living in
The future. Yes.
You're living in the future, or, you know,
living in the past, just cycling through the old patterns
of who did what to whom?
The victim triangle,
That's depression. We're so
Familiar with that. Yeah. Yeah. Because
we don't wanna take accountability
for our, our pardon.
It not to say that the other,
the other per the situation wasn't hard
and, you know, that people were inappropriate or whatever.
But hanging onto that, that's a nervous system response.
We're gonna stay locked into that.
And our interactions in the world, how we're interacting,
especially right now, I think is important
because you hit on that like, we're so polarized
and it's not because we're never
operating from the right now.
Right. We're operating from
who we've become from the patterning
that's been created in our bodies.
So me, I was a people pleaser mm-hmm.
From young and people pleasing is a skill you learn
as a child or in life.
Because if you can control the environment, this is one
of the nervous system things we do is the
pattern of people pleasing.
I'm gonna make sure that the people stay happy.
Everyone around me, I'm gonna be super gooey, happy
and accommodating.
And there's a lot of energy that goes into that
because if I can keep everything good mm-hmm.
Then I will be safe. And yeah.
It's just one, one example of
so many patterns that we create.
And you needed that. Right? I needed that.
You need to feel safe. Yeah. Yeah.
That's, the nervous system is always looking for safety.
And so when we recognize, when we look
around our environment and we recognize
that we are in unsafe situations, of course
our body's gonna respond that way.
Of course, we're gonna have pain.
Or if we have unresolved ci circumstances from our youth
where we've held onto grudges or disappointment
or abuse, that winding in that area
of the body that you're holding it, we're gonna hold it.
And then the places that we do.
But, you know, we're in the, that survival posture, the,
a lot of people's shoulder issues, hip issues,
misalignments is the tension in the body to hold us there
because we know if we stay right here,
right in this posture right here, we're safe.
And we can't think, yeah.
We can't have a conversation with you that's open-minded
because I wanna blame you for something.
I wanna be a victim because I'm, I'm pro programmed
or I've taken on the patterning of I gotta protect me.
And so everything else out, I have to push everything else
outside of me and keep it separate.
Because if I let it in, that means I have
to move, I have to adjust something.
And so just being with that
and being with the body in a way that allows that unwinding
and a new expression of yourself, it will change everything.
And if, if people just knew that this is, this is something
that they've never been taught,
and, you know, if you wanna stay hunkered in all your
opinions and your hate
and the, I mean this, there's people
that are all the way over there and the, like, you do you,
but there's so much more available to you.
Right. And, and your health
and wellbeing just by knowing these things. Yeah. So,
Yeah. And like you said, when
it, when you, when it's all
that chaos kind of going inside, you really, it's easy
to look outside and point your finger at someone else,
but we all know when we point our finger out,
there's three fingers pointing back at us.
Right? Yes.
And I think that's, I, I just see that so easily
that everybody who's talking, when you, when you say,
I hate this person for this reason, I just feel like
you just said that about yourself
and I don't like this person 'cause of this.
And I was like, that means you don't
like that about you probably.
You know what I mean? That's, that's what I think, you know.
Got that. I'm embarrassed to say I just got the concept
of the mirror in the
Very Oh. From that?
No. Oh. From oh,
Recently, because, you know, it's that whole, you kind
of get it and you're like, oh, where am I doing that?
But you just kind of brush over it,
and of course you don't take accountability.
Mm-hmm. But now I'm like, okay, every
situation is an opportunity for me to go Where is that?
Because like, attracts like mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
In the positive and the negative. It does.
And so the patterns that we hold, we're gonna attract people
that have the same wounds as us.
Right. Like, oh yeah.
You know, those type of people over there are our problem.
Mm-hmm. And we're gonna stay together.
'cause we, you know, yes. This is,
this is how we see the world.
I have definitely experienced that for sure.
Right. And it's, it's all an opportunity and,
and it, there's more freedom if we just allow
that pattern to show us Mm.
Where we, where we're locked down.
Yes. I mean, it, it is, once you start to see it
and to realize it and understand the pattern
that I'm constantly attracting
magnetically the people, situations, circumstances,
and events that, that tell me what I need to hear.
Mm-hmm. You know, it's o it's obvious. You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm. It's obvious to me when I, when I go somewhere
and I used to go to the grocery store,
I got the wrong person who was grouchy
and didn't, you know, want to be personal
and didn't talk whatever, and now go to the grocery store
and it's like, I get the best person there, I think,
and someone who was kind
and show me more than I needed to know, know what I mean?
Like, I went skydiving for my birthday two years
and they were se was it a couple years in between?
Right. And I was working on myself on both of 'em,
but the first time I got a guy, it was not
as kind and a little abrasive.
And then the next time I got a guy who was much more kinder,
much more, you know, like went out of his way to
get a video for me.
Um, and just, you know, my birthday
and we're on the video at standing on the edge
of the airplane, Jacob Bishop, your birthday out, even like,
just went out of his way to make it a just
that much better experience.
And then when it was over with, I was gonna give him a tip
and my brain was like, give him that extra money.
Give him that, give him this. And
I gave him that extra money.
And then he, uh, took me to a, you know,
a little place in the back and made my birthday even better.
So I was just like, right. Yeah. So it was awesome.
Uh, I was just like, man, if you give more, you get more.
If you're kinder, you get more kindness.
And if you are someone
that you don't wanna see in the world, you're gonna continue
to see a lot of that out in the world.
And mm-hmm. I just, I realize more now, more than ever,
my freedom and my peace is so important to me
that I don't even, I
don't even wanna argue with anybody else.
Like, you're right. What you see is totally right
and that you're experiencing it
that way too, so that you are right.
And that's great.
But I have no, I only want to talk about, I,
I'll talk about politics, I'll talk about education,
I'll talk about the current state
of the world, the president, whatever you want.
I got it. I'll do it all. But I,
I think I only really wanna do it is
are we gonna learn something?
Yes. Are you gonna learn something from me?
Because I'm gonna try to learn something from you.
But if you just want me to regurgitate what you think
or mirror what you think.
Agree. Yep. I'm probably not.
We're, I mean, you know, I'll listen to you,
but I don't, I'm not gonna, especially if it's gonna,
if you're angry about it, I'm probably, you're not gonna,
you're not gonna sway me to that side. Have enough.
That's the whole thing. When we get in that dynamic,
we can't engage the, the thinking brain.
Right. We've, we've shut down, we're reacting
and we can't, I mean, getting this guy to work
and intelligent and be creative and,
and have a flowing dialogue.
It's out the window when we've got ourselves in a,
in a passionate state like that.
And it's not, there's no value in it.
I'm with you. Like, forget about it.
Let's, on peace is much, much easier. Yeah.
It's not worth your time. Yeah.
It's not, it's not worth the, the seconds
that you have on this beautiful planet too
exists to be here now.
It's just like, you're not even here when you're talking
about all the stuff that you really hate.
You're somewhere else. You're not here.
'cause most of the time all that stuff's not happening here.
I mean, I, I've never seen a president, I've never seen,
you know, a lot of the things that people are mad about,
you know, like, so I I I'm not experiencing it.
Mm-hmm. And I'm not saying it's not happening
'cause it's surely happening for some people.
But how do you know,
I love the Wayne dark quote when he says, you know, um,
you know, basically loving people live in a loving world
and angry people live in an angry world.
Mm-hmm. Same world. You know?
And it's like, well, I live in a pretty loving world.
I, I live in a, a forgiving world
because if I'm somebody who could go through the life
that I've gone through and done the things that I've done
and been as dumb as I have
and hurt people I've heard, then, you know,
if I can forgive myself, I know God can forgive me
and I can get to where I'm at.
I think anybody can do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
Nobody's any special than
anybody else, or better than anybody else.
It's a decision's, a decision you make. Yeah.
It's a decision. And how we're gonna show up
and what we wanna experience
and we can experience either one of those things.
Yeah. It was just like, for me, like I, I went
to the dark side, right.
And I, and I was miserable. Miserable.
And I was just like, I realize, like I said, if I,
if I can create my own hell on earth, then I have to, I have
to be able to create my own heaven too.
I, it has to be true. And I knew
that I had made my own hell.
So it's like, then I'm gonna go for that.
I'm gonna give it all. I'm gonna give everything I own away,
you know, except for what fits in my car
and drive to Colorado to work with kids.
And it all came true. And it all came true in a better way.
And like I said, I feel like, man, that even the person
that I thought I was gonna become as well, well beyond
that, I think at this point now.
So, um, it's all worth it.
But gotta make a, a, a decision that there's no going back.
And I think once you start to really wake up
and, you know, you start
to find some peace in some yoga classes
or, um, some love from a real friend
or someone who really cares
or, you know, listen to some real truth, something
that really like, man, that's, that's something deep.
That's something crazy. You know, you know what I like.
And it's like, I need more of that. Yes.
I'm hungry for that.
I'm not hungry for food as much as I am for ideas
and understandings and knowledge and wisdom
and a life that's, I can be proud of.
You know, I can be grateful for,
You know, what's, what's beautiful about offer you is
learning to be loving
and compassionate for self,
being the person you wanna have on the other side
of you in those dialogues,
in those conversations, in those relationships.
Because when we can actually look at ourself
and go, of course you're wounded, of course you're hurting,
of course you are.
And, and let me, let me be the one that's here for you,
because that's what you're telling the nervous system.
We're safe because I know what I'm doing now.
When I was this big, I I had no choice. Yeah.
What was happening in my world,
I was, I was along for the ride.
Mm-hmm. Now we have to tell ourselves like,
I have a choice now I can be compassionate
for myself or I can beat myself up.
Mm-hmm. And that's the other, you know, the self-talk is
so important, but actually sitting with yourself
and compassion and letting yourself feel the woundedness,
the sadness, the loneliness, the things that are, are part
of what we've experienced in our lives
and being there for ourselves mm-hmm.
Was the fastest way back to, to, um, what you called heaven.
Mm-hmm. Right. Back to the freedom of really knowing
that you have the authority to create your own world.
Yes. And then you are the person that you wanna talk to.
Mm-hmm. And so I talk to myself a lot,
but that's not, that's not the topic of the conversation,
but, you know, it's, it's the reality of didn't you start
to attract people that have that same frequency, that have
that same knowingness.
Mm-hmm. Uh, and they have
that same compassion for themselves.
Mm-hmm. You know? 'cause we were talking earlier about
how we can feel when someone's going through something
and we can feel it because we've been there with ourselves.
Yes. And we can't really empathize
with somebody if we haven't really experienced it.
We can sympathize, which is, which is something,
it's better than nothing but true empathy coming into that,
that coherence with somebody
and letting them feel that, man, I'm here with you.
Mm-hmm. And I, I feel you. Right.
And I'm, you know, just holding
space for someone, so to speak.
So I just offer that as something that we overlook
as the entry point.
We still, there's still a tendency to want someone else
to be here and save us to have that conversation.
You know, sometimes I get in all bent outta shape
and I'm like, I, I want someone to call.
I'm like, can't call, can't call.
'cause no one else is gonna understand. Mm.
You sitting with yourself going, wow, oh,
that was really painful and you did it anyway.
Mm-hmm. And thank you. Because I wouldn't be here right now
if I hadn't been there for myself.
Right. And hadn't created people pleasing as a strategy
to keep me and, and other people safe.
Like keeping that that strategy was,
was ingenious for a young person.
Right. Because it kept everything somewhat even keel.
Mm-hmm. Anyway, so I just, I don't know
what you think about all that, but I'm really learned
to just be really compassionate with myself.
Yeah. I think it's the hardest person to
forgive is yourself to mm-hmm.
Be compassionate, but you be kind to
'cause you, it's, I mean, sometimes easy to be kind to a kid
or maybe someone, an older person or whatever,
or someone that you, like someone
else might, that you admire you.
Right. Right, right. But yourself, like, you know,
be a little kinder to yourself and like, forgive yourself.
You don't know it all, you don't have it all figured out.
You can't remember where you put everything
and you know, you just have to, to, to forgive yourself
and let it go, let it go.
But I do, I do think you can like basically change your past
in the future, you know, just right here now.
And that when you were saying the things
that happened in the past, I can go back
and think about all the things that I did
or something that happened to me
and be like, man, that, that hurt my feelings or whatever.
And I, and I, I probably suffered a great deal
of my life thinking
that I wasn't good enough because someone told me that.
Mm-hmm. Um, or that I didn't think
that I looked good enough or something, you know.
Um, but at the end of the day, I've realized
if I can be thankful for every experience, the good
and the bad, the positive
and the negative, I can, I get to decide
what I did with that though.
Right? Mm-hmm. So if someone tells me, you know,
you're no good, that's fine.
But I can take that and,
and realize like, well, the only reason
that someone could have said something like that
to me is if I actually am good.
Like, they're trying to convince me that I'm not,
and maybe I've actually believed it.
Mm-hmm. Or someone took advantage of me
and I am only, you know, I'm realizing my own worth.
Yeah. Because they, to they, they took advantage of me.
And I can only be taken advantage of it if I have worth.
And I maybe I thought I was worthless. Yeah.
And I feel like that bumped me ahead faster
by having the physical universe, you know, manifest in a man
or a woman or boy or a girl or somebody else.
A circumstance and event that showed that to me
and mirrored it to me and say, you think like this,
you know, the boy on the playground
who thinks everybody hates him, you know, the,
the bully is looking for that kid.
Mm-hmm. I'm looking for the people on the swing playing,
having a good time, and looking for the kid
who already internally thinks I'm no good, no one likes me.
Here comes the physical.
And, and he doesn't feel good about himself either. Right.
Right. It's not like we should just the
Dynamic. Right. Like tracks
like
Yeah. They're coming. Yeah. It's
not like,
be mad at the bully he is hurting people.
No. Like, he's bringing you exactly what you need
and you're eventually, and you're getting
What you asked For, and you're getting what you asked
for, and he's gonna get what he asked for.
'cause eventually, I would think the karma is
that you should eventually stand up
to the bully and be like, Hey, I have her.
Don't, you know, do that. And then eventually you
probably guys can become friends.
And it probably, I've had that happen
before too, where the bullies turned into a friend
and I was like, oh, you know, our, the person
that I really hated the most,
I ended up really loving the most.
Right. You know, isn't that the truth? Yeah.
The, the, the people that I,
You know, polarities and all of a sudden you're like,
oh man, you appreciate that about 'em.
Well, we had so much in common.
And I was like, how do we have so much in common?
I hated your guts. And it's like, well, you probably hated
that self, that part about yourself.
Yeah. Um, and then I think another thing
that maybe we should chat about real quick is when I was a
kid and I, and I had this terrible car accident,
and I went through the, the, the window face first.
And I had to, um, you know, go to the hospital
and I died three times and Oh my gosh.
Yeah. Like, had to get like hundreds
of stitches in my whole face and my head and everything.
And went to, um, finally went to my grandmother's house
for a couple months before I went back to school.
And then I had to learn how to walk and talk again
and be in a wheelchair and stuff.
And that was a really hard experience.
And, you know, it was really tough looking different,
being different, uh,
and I probably struggle with that for most of my life,
but now I, you know, I went back to that place
and I was like, man, how awesome am I
that I got through that?
Yes. That I made it through that.
And, um, and I ended up having so much gratitude
and I realized that the reason why I probably work
with special needs people now has a lot to do with that be,
you know, because not that I'm a special needs person,
but I, I had special needs.
I mean, I literally had to learn how
to walk again, how to talk again.
Mm-hmm. And how to like, you know, knew it
Felt like to be cared for,
Like that to be different, to be cared for.
And like my grandmother was the
one who took care of me mostly.
I literally laid on her couch, so she fed me
and I peed in a cup and I couldn't, you know what I mean?
Like Yeah. She brought me back to health
and I was able to live again and,
and eventually like pretty much do everything again.
Um, I mean, it was, I obviously had like intense headaches,
glass come out my face for months on it.
It was, you know, intense as a little kid.
Um, but the funny thing is now I was like,
after all this worked out, I'm
super grateful for this experience.
I am who I am because I'm stronger, better person.
I probably have that empathy mm-hmm.
For someone who's speaks different
or in a wheelchair more so because of that experience,
because I do know what that's like to be like that.
Um, then it came like this kind of euphoric release
that came with it and, and a sense of gratitude and love.
And then I, uh, my, my, my recent car that I drive is,
this happened in the red Jeep Cherokee in 1987.
And I, I bought a red Jeep Cherokee 2017,
which is 30 years after that happened.
And I, I didn't even realize it until a couple days into it.
And I was like, wow. And I felt like it was kind
of like the gold at the end of the rainbow type of deal,
you know, where it was like, yeah, wow.
Like this is kind of like symbolic to you got through it
and look what happened at the end.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Can I share, right? Yeah, go ahead.
One of the things we talk about in Susan's work
is resources.
And you are super resourceful.
And what you're describing to me right now is you recognize
that part of you that got you through it
and you informed your nervous system that said, Hey,
you know what, if we got
through this, I can get through anything.
And it changes everything about how we see the world,
because we know we have the capability,
we're not a victim to it anymore.
No. And so we, recognizing our resources is so powerful
and the work that we're doing and,
and helping people re recognize what you did on your own,
like, you're so wise.
Mm-hmm. But I just wanted to call that out, is something
that's, that helps people that, that have a tendency
for like, that self, that self-talk
and all the things that get wrapped around the axle
to recognize all the way, Hey, you know, I did that though.
Mm-hmm. Oh, and I did this, you know,
and then it starts to become that,
that it just builds us up from that place to let us know
that we don't have, the nervous system has,
doesn't have to protect us so
much. We're actually pretty good.
Yeah. You, you can never be fully
free if you think you're a victim.
Yeah. If you're a victim of circumstance events, your mom
and dad, the person that you broke up with, your ex-husband,
your wife, you'll, you can never truly experience
true freedom if you're a victim.
I, I, I 100%
Believe that there's so much in the world
that sets us up for that though.
Mm-hmm. Subconsciously,
and it's, it's, it's an intentional
decision to watch for it.
I had this beautiful, um, experience over the last week
or so where I had, I, I triggered an earlier wound
where I guess in my life I didn't realize
how much I felt like I was unseen.
Mm-hmm. I'm a middle child.
So my middle child came up and I had had this experience.
I had this really fantastic,
we were doing the syn masters stuff mm-hmm.
And I had this energetic experience
and I really wanted to share it with people.
And so we're at the dinner table and we're talking,
and I was like, I wanna share this experience with you guys.
And so I shared it real quick
and everyone just looked at me, and then they went about
and changed the topic to just like,
and I'm sitting there like, this was very profound.
Yeah. And so I just watched the woundedness in me come up,
and so I got up and I went for a walk.
I had to do a few loops and, and, and think about it,
but I realized that, that
that was something that was sitting there mm-hmm.
Of not feeling not seen, and being able to heal it
and go, oh, okay, I see you now.
Mm-hmm. Now that I see you, I can feel this part of me
that says, oh, this, this really makes me feel this
and that, and oh, for me.
Right. I, I, I can feel the victim in that,
but I've moved that out
and then I have compassion for myself to say, it's okay.
You're worth hearing. Mm-hmm.
It was a really cool experience.
Yes. And I, I got to the other side of it,
so I've watched myself go through the same work in,
in a way, in a very real way for myself, by myself.
Yes. Usually it's, you know, you do it, you dialogue
with people, but those types of things,
recognizing when we are subconscious has
this hijacked mm-hmm.
Because we get fed all kinds of ideas. Yes.
You know, for you and I, I'm pretty sure we, I'm pretty, I,
I watch what I'm exposing myself to because I know that,
but a lot of people don't know yet.
They haven't, haven't figured it out.
I knew a lot about that when I was a kid.
Like, there were certain things I was like,
I knew I wouldn't watch, I never watched scary movies.
I never wanna watch a horror movie.
I never wanted to watch something about
like, weird ghosts or something.
I mean, I, I just knew that I didn't want to be scared.
And I know now why,
because it was like that fear plays a part in your life.
Mm-hmm. You know, if you think that there's a ghost
behind every corner, or there's somebody out there
to kill everybody that you're on Yeah.
You're on edge. Right. I, I knew at a young age,
and I, I still don't,
I don't watch anything super scary either.
Never. I don't want to be scared like that.
And it doesn't scare me.
I mean, it just, I, I just have no desire.
I just don't want to at all.
Like, I have no desire to wanna watch anything
that's just kind of like really where dark and Yeah.
Uh, you know, trying to get you to jump outta your seat.
I have Yeah. No desire for that. Yeah.
And I, and I knew it since a little kid,
and that's why I just, those are the things I think
that first came up when I was really waking up
and be like, man, this has happened before.
You know, like I, I had wisdom as a kid that I,
that I wasn't just given, you know what I mean?
It was something that I earned.
And, and this is not my first rodeo
as a human being, so, no.
Yeah, you definitely did very
Wise, Right? Yeah,
I definitely did.
And then when you go through, you know, the windshield
of a car and you know everyone when you live
and then everyone tells you you're a miracle.
Like, I was hard to believe,
but I was literally told by everybody that I was a miracle
and God had a purpose for me and all these things,
and that was tough.
But I mean, I, I definitely never forgot it.
And I always stuck with me and I was like,
I must have a purpose then I must have a purpose.
Yeah. And well, the fact that you walked through that,
the layers of when, I mean, I had a, an accident myself
that the layers of healing
and how that inter intersects all of our life, like people
that are going through what I, this big word called trauma,
but they had something like that in their world mm-hmm.
That has so many distinct layers.
Not only does it bring up anything that was already there,
but then you're relying on somebody else
or, you know, you, you're, you know,
how you express yourself in the world, how you're able
to move or not be free
or not be free to move about the cabin.
Right. Those types of things.
All those layers that people have to get through to, to get
to the other side while it's horrible mm-hmm.
Can't be more powerful. And so Yeah.
But it can't be more reminding people. It's gotta be
totally inspiring for you.
Right. Like, you don't even need
any inspiration for anybody else.
Like you are your own inspiration. Yeah.
And, and I feel like if you can go through your life
that not being a victim, not saying anybody else's fault,
it's all my responsibility and I'm the hero of this journey.
Mm-hmm. I'm the hero of this reality.
I'm the movie star here. And it's not, not to an extent
where like, you know, it this an ego driven thing,
but it's just like, give yourself some
credit, man give, you know?
Yep. It's tough. It is.
You know, and, and then once you do it
and you're like, oh, I can sit back and relax
and chill a little bit too, you know, it's, I don't have
to do all these crazy things I thought I had to, to be Yeah.
You know, someone that needed to be seen or whatever,
and, um, or someone to be heard.
'cause I, I definitely felt like
that I wasn't seen or hurt as a kid.
And even when I started waking up
and I wanted to share these synchronicities
and spiritual things that happened to me, to my parents
and everything, and I felt like they just totally were like,
didn't hear it, didn't care, and it was like hurtful again.
I was like, man, again, bringing up the same kind
of things I think you were exactly talking about.
Um, but I realized like,
that's also like the greatest gift too,
because even if they don't see me for the Christian ity
that I, that I have, that I possess, that I see, you know,
it helped me refined it even more.
Mm-hmm. So when I talk to my parents
and I say something like, whoa, the Bible says this
or this, that I, I get to continue
to chip away at all the imp imperfections, all the things
that are just, okay, let me read into that.
Lemme read into this. And they're like, thanks,
you brought something up for me.
You, oh, I forgot about that. I didn't remember that.
Mm-hmm. What does that mean? Where did that come from?
Who was saying that thing?
And I just continued to refine my craft over
and over again to where I feel like I could debate anybody.
I could have a good discussion
with anybody, you know what I mean?
Like, not to, you don't have to believe what I believe,
but I, I, no, it's, I'd just go toe to toe
with anybody on any, you know, spiritual subject
or religion or anything.
We can't create anything new if
we're just locked into our own stuff. So no, I'm right
There with you. Be thankful for
all the people who challenge you
and test you to, you know what I mean?
Don't be mad about it. I definitely was mad
and heard about it at first,
but now it's just like, you know what?
I don't have to throw all my pearls out there for people
to trample all over.
But, um, I definitely like to throw little seeds out
and little gold nuggets when I can,
but I'm certainly gonna be me
and say what I wanna say when I wanna say it,
and what I believe in.
And that's a powerful Yeah.
You know, like, you don't have to, I don't feel like I have
to convince anybody anything,
but I feel like what I stand in my own truth and,
but own knowing voice is powerful. Now. You
Have A voice nobody can deny.
You don't have to say much. If you can be much. Look at us
Having a voice. I know, right?
You can listen or not.
But we're, we're gonna, we're telling
You I'm gonna be meeting no matter what.
You can't change me with your ideas and opinion.
I'll listen to anybody's stuff, but, you know, and I'm,
and I'm always, I think it's incredibly smart to say
I'm always willing to level up.
I'm always willing to grow and to learn more.
So, you know, if there are things I definitely, you know,
don't know, I don't want to claim to know them.
Um, and I think that's really smart.
I'm always willing to change my mind
if you got me something good.
But te usually when someone says something I haven't heard
or don't know either resonates, I feel it in my heart,
my soul, or I don't.
Right. Yeah. And that's what, and I'll, even if it doesn't,
and they're like, man, it sounded good.
And there've been some thought of things
that deception that's really out there.
I'll go, I'll go dive into it and look it up. You know?
And there are things
that I would've never thought in my wildest dreams I would
ever, ever question that I've found myself.
Like literally in the middle of bawling my eyes out
by myself, like, man, I can't believe I'm questioned this,
and I'm just full of emotions.
And then there are things that people say, oh, this is true.
This is true. You gotta go check it out and go check it out.
I'm like, it doesn't do it. It's not doing anything for em.
Yeah. There's nothing there for me. And that's, I just,
you know, I'm sorry, you know, but I just, I don't feel it.
And sometimes they're mad at me
and I'm like, man, I, I gave a shot, you know?
Yeah. My body knows it, it, it reacts. Mm-hmm.
And it feels, and it feels like often angels are with me
and standing around me and you know, like, good job.
This is it. And I'm, you know, I'm full of emotion
and the whole, the Holy Spirit,
like I feel really full of it.
And if it's something that's true, it's even more,
if it's something that's not, I just feel like, yeah.
You know, I'm not saying you're wrong,
but I'm saying it doesn't work for me, so
It's not right for me. Yeah. It's not, yeah. And
That's maybe, and maybe not even
not right for me right now.
Mm-hmm. You know, but if it's worth
revisiting, I definitely will too. Yeah.
That's what we're missing in this world.
The ability to give you, everybody gets their own truth.
Mm-hmm. Like being able to have to feel it in the body.
Like people, like recognize the energy
of truth versus the energy of not,
of deception and all the other things.
You know, having that, that skillset is
Important. Right. And
you said everybody has
their own, everybody does have their own truth.
But I definitely think that there deep truth that we all
at some point have to realize
and recognize that this is a, this is a truth,
this is a, a truth.
Yeah. You know? Yes.
Um, and there are, there are laws to our universe, right?
Mm-hmm. You know, herma principles
and things like that, that I really resonate with
that I feel like if you live in another country
or you go to another planet, there are going to be things
that you just can't run away from.
They're mm-hmm. They're truths. Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean? You're always gonna experience
polarity, you're always gonna experience, uh, the,
the duality of gender is in all things.
I mean, I'm, I'm a big, I think the matic principles are,
are very as above, so below.
I mean, those things have no matter where you wanna go live
with Mars or some of the solar system,
there's gonna be the same.
Some of those same deep truths are always gonna be there.
Yeah. But it is how I walk through my path in any moment
and decide which I'm gonna bump up against Yes.
Is what I'm referring to. Yeah.
And everyone needs to go
through their own, their own journey.
Yes. To build that own resilience
and trust within their own self.
And that brings us back to the body, right.
How we're, how we're physically able to engage with
the spirit realm, whatever you,
you know, whatever that means to you. Mm-hmm.
It is. Yeah. I mean, it could be a different religion,
it could be a different education.
It could be how you were brought up differently
by mom or dad or whatever it is.
But yeah, you're right. It can be anything.
I think, um, we all have our different lives
or different truths or different ways of getting there.
Mm-hmm. And I think once we get to a certain point,
then there's just a, a narrow path
after that for all us to,
to finish it off the journey. Right? Yep. After
That, I think we're gonna hear about that next week,
I hope. Yeah, I think so.
I, uh, yeah,
I told the Ascension podcast next, next Thursday.
Yeah, I definitely will go off on that.
I've, the past couple weeks, I, I get guided by my muses,
my guides, and my spirits.
And, and they really, typically, I,
I'm really inundated in one subject for a long time,
you know, a couple weeks, uh, sometimes a few days,
but, you know, usually it's a couple weeks
or a couple months sometimes I really,
I can't not read about something or listen to something
or just, just constantly get information about something,
you know, through meditation
or, you know, like I said, I, through people, I mean,
if I'm, if I'm hot on one thing,
it just comes, comes and comes.
So, recently,
the past couple weeks has definitely been about the
resurrection, uh, and the tools, how we can all do that.
Mm-hmm. And I'm very excited to talk more about that.
And I wanna save a lot of it
because it's so good and so juicy.
It's so good. Um, but I, yeah, that's definitely one.
I, I, I definitely, uh, feel like in my past lives
that I walked with Christ
and I was in rooms with him in secret,
just trying to get all the information,
all the goodies and all the golden nuggets
and just, you know,
ask him every possible thing about everything.
And that's what it says. I mean, it says in the open,
in the open outdoors and everything else.
He talked to people in parables 'cause they weren't ready.
But to the real true disciples, Christ, you know,
told the meaning of those disciples.
And I've been in rooms by myself,
and I've been in places where I've been in front of people
where literally it's like a tap on the shoulder
and turn around and, and just standing behind me
just downloaded a, a, a parable to me just right away.
Wow. Um, and I've had other, other experience
where Christ was literally with me, um, you know,
divulging incredible deep parables and secrets to me.
Uh, and even once where literally
felt like he was standing next to me
and walked into my body, um,
and completely just changed my life for the rest of my life.
Mm-hmm. Um, so I feel a very deep connection to Christ.
And, um, yeah.
I'm, yeah, this feels, you know,
it always feels like a big thing, uh,
when we're in this time Easter and, and, um, yeah.
Resurrection. I, I, I have so much to say about it.
So that's it. That's all. I'm not gonna talk anymore
because I too much of a juicy topic.
That's gonna be really good when we get into it.
But I don't wanna take away from your, um,
your talk for today.
Um, so what else on the freedom,
did you have anything else on that, um, we subject
that you're really hot about?
Because I mean, you Oh,
I could go on for a I know you could,
Right? Yeah.
I, I, I think we, I think the,
the biggest thing I wanted to make sure people
knew is their own authority, their own empowerment,
to create their own healing.
Because this conversation we had,
and that is, you know, just being with self and being,
and just breathing, befriending, finding it
and being with it, unwind, letting it unwind outta the body
so that you can release all that old baggage and express
and experience yourself differently.
Mm-hmm. So I, uh, I think we've covered a lot of that.
Yeah. I think one of the first thing that,
since we're just talking about Christ too, the,
the first thing I thought when we were talking about
is it's your faith that heals you.
Right? And then people come
and say, Jesus, thanks for healing me.
And he's like, man, it wasn't me that healed you.
It was your faith that heals you.
But if you don't stop sinning,
and to me, that's, if you don't stop lusting,
if you don't stop your anger, if you don't let these
things, you know mm-hmm.
Run your life behaviors, yeah.
You're gonna start having more of those things happen,
so you better get it under control.
Yeah. And, and have discipline and master those things.
But it also, to me, that's the placebo effect in itself too.
It's like what I believe if I go
to a surgery, that's what's gonna do it.
If I go to this holy man, that's what's gonna do it.
But I have to believe it.
It's all about my belief and my faith in that healer
or that surgeon or that person that's mm-hmm.
That's the biggest thing is I am the, I'm responsible
and I'm in control of this life.
And I could go to all, do all the things.
And if I never really believe that it's gonna be the thing,
it's never going to be the thing that gets
that, uh, heals you.
It's really all about how, I mean, we really have to get
to the point, like, I'm responsible.
I'm not a victim. I'm powerful.
I created this and I alone can change it,
and I can move mountains
and with, you know, allowing the, that Christ energy,
that Buddha nature, the Christian spirit, the Holy Spirit,
whatever you wanna call it, come through me
and allow me to move those mounts, move that cancer, move
that disease mm-hmm.
Outta my body where I no longer.
And you thank you for being here.
You've showed me a great lesson, you know what I mean?
That disease has showed me a wonderful lesson about
myself, but I no longer need it.
I no, I I've learned it. I figured it out. So
Like, that accident, What's
That? Like the accidents
or, yeah, like
that life altering events, that life
Altering another path life.
Yeah. Even that was so big
because it was like, I realized
that every single person in my family
who experienced something different,
it was almost like we had all
done these things over and over again.
And now here's the one big event that does this for you,
and this one does this for you.
And I think my brother
was probably a little jealous overall.
'cause I got to not go to school for a couple months
and hang out with grandma around once, you know,
he had no scratches on him whatsoever.
But, you know, that's fine.
That's, but I mean, all these things for our life,
he get, you got to experience.
Here's the thing now that puts that in motion
for you and me and Yep.
And we've all been in these
lives together and over and over again.
And I just 100% knew that, you know, from a long time ago
that, oh, this was a, this was something that did something
for all of us in a different way, you know?
Yeah. Somebody, I'm sure my dad felt guilt for driving and,
and we got hurt, you know,
but no reason, obviously no grudge from me.
Yeah. Um, you know, I'm not mad at you
for, we all needed it.
We all needed this big thing in our lives to be the people
that we, that we came here to be.
So we've been grateful. And then now as we relieve
that karma, we have things that can happen
that can be better and more fun and more enjoyable, I think.
Mm-hmm. Um, and not as, not as much suffering as
to be involved.
Yep. And, and waking up and, and living your life.
And I think that's what we're all kind of looking for.
And it's like, no matter what it is, um, I mean,
like I said, in a relationship
or anything, like, Hey, I'm glad that we got to meet.
I'm glad that we got to be with each other.
I'm glad that we learned from each other.
I'm not mad at you. I have no, no hard feelings at all,
even too, we can still be friends and still chat.
So at this point, that's how I've tried to see everything.
It's like, it's all happening for me.
Nothing's happening to me. I'm not a victim.
I am definitely the, the player, the protagonist
of this movie, of this reality in my life.
And that's, that's what matters the most. So, yeah.
Um, and I want to experience the most freedom
that I can experience in this life.
That's the most important to me.
And not engaging in conversations
that are gonna bring that down.
That's number one. Be peaceful
and be harmonious with the world.
Um, yeah.
I, spiritual freedom, like we talked about that mental,
emotional, physical,
but that spiritual freedom was the last
one I really tried to touch on.
And, and it's true, man. It's, we, it's all up in here.
And the things that we feel that we can, can surrender
to the universe to allow us to,
to sit here in this moment
and not be controlled by anything else that's going on,
realize I'm alive and I'm a human,
and it's what a beautiful experience now grateful I am
to be here and just breathe.
Just breathe and on it into my body.
You can feel good in any circumstance. Yeah.
That's freedom to me. Mm-hmm.
Like, I can regulate myself
and you can do all that you're gonna do,
and I can still stay in my own right.
Presence. And, and, and they call it regulate and,
and let you do your thing.
And it doesn't become about me.
I don't have old wounds that are like wanting to go, oh,
but you know, how is that about me?
Right? Like, that's freedom for me. Right.
Being able to be in this world crazy, crazy world right now,
letting someone rage out
or go off the deep end on the other direction and,
and stay in my center in my own truth.
Send 'em love, send him, whatever. Mm-hmm.
That to me is freedom.
Right? It's like that story of Joseph
where he is literally put into prison
by his brothers all to slavery.
And he gets, and you know, the things happen
and he ends up in prison and he,
I can only imagine this dude is just full of love, full
of life, full of, oh man, it's all great.
'cause they eventually give him the keys.
He's in charge of the whole jail,
and next thing you know, he becomes like the king,
second to the king.
You know what I mean? Like, that's where, you know,
this dude is free, man.
Like, even they couldn't keep him
in prison, you know what I mean?
Like, imagine if, could you be put into prison
and still have the mindset like, I'm totally free.
Mm-hmm. Could you be put into a situation that you hate
and still, I, I don't wanna say hate,
but you shouldn't enjoy maybe even
and still be happy and still be thankful.
Like that's when you really know, like, no
outside circumstances has any control of me whatsoever.
Right. I, I completely make my
own my own way in this world.
I completely have, have the power to be joy,
love at any moment, at any moment.
Nobody, nobody controls what it I
Not based on anything out here.
Yes. That's what I, yeah.
That's kinda what I was alluding to last time.
I, I, that's what I want more than anything.
I, and I, and I feel it, and I'm,
and I'm starting to have it more often.
It's, you know, it's like riding a, a wave, you know,
and you're on the wave and it's good and it feels good,
and then sometimes you crash off.
But like, when you get up there, man,
all the hard work is worth it.
And you're like, man, I'm really on top of this. You ride
A little longer. Let's
ride, let keep riding. Let's long, let's get it hot.
Let's, you know, let's keep surfing the universe.
Let's keep doing this thing until it's more
and more until there's nothing else
but riding on top of the wave.
And I feel like that's, that is attainable. It is possible.
And I think it's possible for anybody.
And if you feel like if you're out there listening
to this right now and you think that, you know,
that's not available for you, I've never felt that.
I'm telling you, it 100% is available
to every single person who's out there. Yeah.
I, I just had something come up real quick.
Um, I'm not sure how much time we have left,
but I wanted to just park on the idea that
if you're listening to this
and you're experiencing these, you know, anger
or these other like feelings
or expressing yourself in the world in a way
that you're not super proud of,
it's not necessarily a personality flaw.
If there's an opportunity for you to look at it differently,
to recognize that there is something, some aspect
of yourself that has been wounded, that has had experiences
that is locked in place.
And it's, it's as simple as being with you
and allowing the body to express and,
and hold space for yourself and be compassionate.
Watch the self-talk.
But it's easy to get in this judgmental like,
you're doing things wrong and you should,
I hate when people should on
themselves, don't should on yourself.
But it, the it, the, the opportunities to recognize
that we get angrier.
We have these defensive
patterns because something happened to us.
So be gentle, be kind,
and know that there's more available to you.
And if you want more information, don't reach out.
We are having these intro courses all the time.
I'm gonna speak as much as I can about it. Mm-hmm.
There'll be more information available through all the,
all the modalities, the Facebook and all those things.
But that's one of the things I wanted to remember
to talk about, because it's so easy
to get in that shame cycle.
Mm-hmm. Especially if that's part of the family dynamic
or like the environment that you find yourself in.
People pointing at you saying you shouldn't be mad. Mm-hmm.
You know, and then of course, like that's what we do.
And so we, we can you get stuck there
until we have some other thing that can help reach in
and help us pull that,
pull a different reality outta that. So
I realized through a past life regression that I had shame
and guilt in like all these different lives.
And they all, you know, played out a little bit differently.
But each life had those two emotions. That's so powerful.
Yeah. Wow. Feelings and thoughts.
And I was just like, wow, man,
that's been something I've just been
carrying with me for so long.
And it's time to put that baggage down.
It's time to let it go. Yeah. That's
Some heavy baggage that shaping guilt you down is one
of the lowest frequencies we have.
Yes. And it will paralyze you,
it freezes you in place if you don't have the skills
Paralyze you, keep you not doing the, the thing
that you want to do the most.
Keep you depressed and keep you heavy, keep you low.
And I think that's what enlightenment is.
You gotta lighten up. You gotta lighten the loads,
you gotta let some stuff go,
you gotta move on level up and yeah.
It, it, it's really, it's, I I think it's staying right.
Impossible to, to move up if you
holding on to things like that.
And that's what you can't experience real freedom. Yeah.
No. And, and I will offer that.
I've learned one of the things to do the direct route
for me is to allow myself to experience the shame.
Just feel it. Yeah. Because what we do is we push it out.
Oh yeah. We resist the feeling of shame.
'cause it's horrible. It's absolutely horrible. Mm-hmm.
And so when you push it away from us, we can't just be
with it, but just experiencing the, it's,
have you heard of rife frequency?
Yes. It's matching the frequency of it. Yeah.
Allow yourself to feel that
and it will just, it will allow it to move.
Mm-hmm. Just acknowledge, Hey, I see you,
I see you hiding right there.
I'm tired of experiencing you
and running away from you, so I'm just gonna be with it.
And so I just offer that as, as one of the quickest routes
that I've found in my own healing
to just let myself be there in that deep, dark shame
or guilt or whatever things I've done.
Right. Because it's almost like so scary.
I wanna do everything I can Oh yeah.
To push it away, but like the real healing happens,
just let it happen.
What's, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
What is, you know, it's not gonna kill you.
I guess it could eventually
you keep letting it happen, but Yeah.
It's only if you keep resisting it
And you keep resisting it because you're,
you're scared of what it's gonna do.
But yeah, I've, I've had that happen where it's just like,
alright, what is it that I'm so scared of?
What is it that I'm so shameful for?
Why do I have so much guilt?
And when I started asking those questions, like I said,
that's when things started happening
and that's when the past life regression starts coming up
and it's like, and it just came up for free offerings,
you know, like, here, do you want me to do this for you?
Yeah. And then you say, okay,
I see why this happened now at this exact moment,
and I am aware of it.
I'm, I'm here for it.
And I honestly, I don't feel like I need it anymore.
I could definitely let it go. I don't wanna keep it.
What's your, what's your thought on
like the collective wounding?
Like, like I feel like there's, there's some aspect
of when we talk about energetic frequencies
and things like that, but like,
I really believe when we heal these things for ourselves
and we pop that frequency out
and we raise our frequency, we are able to kind of,
we resonate differently with our environment and everything.
And so mm-hmm. In my mind, everything is able to level up
and we heal it for other people that have this same wound.
Mm-hmm. I don't know what your thoughts are about that,
but that's one of the things that we, sometimes we take in,
if we're impasse, we can take in a frequency mm-hmm.
From our surroundings and hold that
and not even, we won't be able to recognize it as our own.
Mm-hmm. But even still it be sinking into that
and experiencing it and allowing it to just move mm-hmm.
Instead of like resist and hold it in place.
Um, but there, I I think there is a little bit
of collective wounding that we have.
Yes. I think there are definitely things that we all,
'cause we've all prob many
of us have rein cardale on this particular
planet over and over again.
So there's certain events
and situations that happened that affected us all.
And you know, that because of the, the, the,
the Global Coherence Project where they're
tallying the zeros and ones in the bottom, the codes
and, you know, things like Diana's death
and things, it's, they globally affect nine 11.
They globally affect our whole world.
Um, so I think when we do, that's kind of like kind
of on negative level, but there are positive events too
that, that, that, that do the same thing.
Those don't get stuck in
our bodies and you have to fight them.
No, no. But I do think when you said do you,
when you heal something, I think you, I think
you definitely heal something in your immediate
family and your lineage.
I think when I heal something in me and,
and I bring it to me with to work, it gets, it gets to,
you know, it's kind of like this
contagious thing that like Yeah.
Can, it can rub off on the people I work with,
the people I commune with, the people I come over
to eat at my house and, you know,
and collectively the the guy next door
who may not even never seen me, but mm-hmm.
You know, or the person in your
apartment complex who lives close.
I think all it definitely does, as we level up
a little bit at a time, it,
it collectively heals the whole world.
Yeah. I really do think we're all that connected
where it really does.
Yes. So, I mean, it makes sense.
I mean, you, I mean, you think about someone like Christ
who, who did what he did for us, I think, so
that we could understand a little bit more
and leave probably an incredible imprint.
And all of us who have been here for a long time to know
that we, we collectively did that to him
and he did it for us
because he loved so much to realize like, Hey, I want
to imprint a memory that they will talk about for thousands
of years after this that you guys will remember and,
and realize what you can do now
to be that Christ.
You know, you can do all the
things I'm doing at greater things.
Yeah. It's time for you to do 'em too. Yeah.
So I think even that's like, I mean, I mean, how many people
globally now, billions of people who claim to be Christian.
Yeah. But I mean, how many people of us are,
are affected by those things?
And that, that time that's coming up,
this resurrection time's coming up that, um, that,
that we're so affected by that, that, that he, that we're
so inspired by,
and he never even, you know, technically we never met him.
Right. Yeah. Um, it,
it just leaves this global imprint on all of us.
Mm-hmm. You know, that it's still there
and a lot of other people did too,
obviously do a lot for humanity.
Um, but that's just one that comes to mind off the top
of the head of the time period that we're in.
Yeah. Yeah. That, you know, you just know that this, that
that one act alone has, has pushed people to be better, has,
has made people realize like, I don't wanna do that
to anymore, anybody anymore.
Let's, let's be better people, you know? So Yeah.
When we heal ourselves, we hear our lineage,
we heal our friends, we heal the people around us,
we heal people we don't even know.
Yeah. Isn't that beautiful? It is very beautiful. Amen.
Uh, but now it does feel complete. Right?
That feeling, uh, right there just felt like that was it.
That was a completion of Yeah.
What we're here and came to do today.
So thank you, thank you very much.
And I just wanna say thank you to all of you out there,
all the ones that are listening, all the ones
that are here today on the live stream,
the people who follow the podcast.
Um, I'm really thankful at the end of the day so much
for this just to be able to get these thoughts out
to chat with other people.
Um, it's just an experience that over
and over again just feels better and better.
And, um, you know,
I I just can't express any more gratitude than that.
I just, I'm just so thankful to get
to do this on essentially Works TV and, um, yeah.
So I just wanna say thank you to every single person tonight
that's, that's watching this thank you
to every single person who's ever
experienced mystery school.
The light and love and divine nature in me sees honors
and recognizes the divine nature in all of you.