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    • Jess Turn

      July 16, 2022 at 7:46 am

      This concept is interesting and keeps getting more interesting as I learn more.

      I think we can covertly be of service to self while we may think we are being of service to others.

      For example, for many years and still occasionally today, I catch myself serving or attempting to serve others when I desire to ignore my own needs- especially when they are uncomfortable, traumatic, or painful.

      When we attempt to serve others without considering our own needs, we can become trapped in a false reality by forgetting our own needs and purpose.

      For example, when I teach children during the day or become engrossed in a project, I can forget to check in with my body and even forget I have a body. Often, I don’t use the bathroom, drink, and eat during this time.

      Because I learned this as a child and often repeat this as an adult, it has matured to an identity disorder with narcissistic traits. My body will often shut down (dis-ease and pain), and I’ll become incapacitated to be of service to any energy other than attempting to ease the discomfort and pain.

      Then, as a coping mechanism, I will likely repeat the process turning to serve others as a covert method to “hide from” myself. This becomes a vicious cycle.

      Because if we ignore it, it can come up as soul, familia, and ancestral trauma. I don’t want to pass this to my son, so I am focused on observing all the comes to me in this body- even the discomfort.

      Additionally, if my son knows that I care and love my body and can be the leader in my life, then he has an ability to develop a secure attachment and feel a sense of safety. Those things we know in child development lead to a healthier outcome and potential for generational healing.

      Consider many addictions and overeating for example. These are examples of what individuals can do when a loss of body connection is experienced. This body is precious and doing anything to hurt it or cause it pain seems counterproductive to being of service.

      So, I remind everyone to potentially benefit from my experiences and connect with your body and human form as much as possible. Then, through a solid connection in body, one can explore how we are each can best serve.