When David Wilcock and I started doing Cosmic Disclosure in 2015, I had no idea how much it would change my life or the disclosure community.

Once Gaia began advertising the show, it took off. Suddenly, people who had never heard of MILAB or 20 and Back were watching us discuss these subjects every week. My experiences were being talked about worldwide.

Then the emails started coming in.

People were telling me they remembered being in the same programs. Some said they had served with me. Others were describing their own twenty-year adventures in space, complete with familiar details from the show.

At first, I wanted to hear what they had to say. But as more people came forward, I began seeing a pattern. Details we had discussed publicly were showing up in other people’s accounts. The stories kept getting bigger. Before long, people were putting themselves into my experiences and telling audiences about things we had supposedly done together.

I did not recognize many of those stories.

What started as me talking about experiences I believed were real became a world anyone could join.

And once there was an audience, there was a business.

I was warned this would happen

Early on, people warned me to look at what had happened with the super-soldier community.

They described how a small number of people discussing secret programs had turned into a conference scene full of people claiming extraordinary military careers. They told stories about battles with reptilians, covert missions, and adventures that sounded more like science-fiction movies than anything anyone could reasonably investigate.

I was told the same thing would happen with 20 and Back.

It did.

Some of the same people who had been part of the super-soldier scene were now presenting themselves as veterans of 20 and Back programs. Some even claimed memories of working with me.

This went well beyond people enjoying a television show. People were building identities around it. They were getting followers, interviews, conference invitations, and opportunities to sell their stories.

For someone who had spent their life feeling overlooked, being welcomed as a secret-space-program veteran could be powerful. Suddenly, people wanted to hear everything they had to say.

That doesn’t mean everyone coming forward was knowingly making things up. Some people clearly believed what they were saying. Others were repeating material they had absorbed from interviews and online discussions. And some were taking advantage of an audience that wanted more.

The problem was that the community had very little ability—or willingness—to tell the difference.

If someone questioned a story, they could quickly become the bad guy. People treated basic questions as attacks on a whistleblower or attempts to stop disclosure.

That attitude created the perfect environment for stories to grow unchecked.

Where I disagreed with Michael Salla

Michael Salla helped bring attention to my account. He also went on to publish and promote other people telling their own secret-space-program stories.

I raised concerns with him about the people he was interviewing and the quality of the information being put out. I wanted him to do a better job checking backgrounds, comparing accounts, and asking whether someone was bringing independent information or recycling what was already public.

He did publish cautions about some of these accounts. But my concern was what happened after the caution.

A story would be introduced as something that needed more investigation. Before long, it would be circulating through interviews and conferences as another piece of secret-space-program history. The uncertainty seemed to disappear while the story stayed.

People would then point to the number of people telling similar stories as proof.

But if everyone has watched the same shows and read the same material, how much of that is independent confirmation?

You can have ten people repeating something that came from one interview. That does not give you ten sources.

And I have to apply that to myself. Someone finding me sincere, consistent, or convincing on camera does not settle what happened to me. I can honestly describe an experience and still misunderstand its source.

That became one of the hardest things I had to face.

There is money in this subject. Books, subscriptions, conferences, paid interviews, and all the other things built around it create an incentive to keep the material coming. I have earned money in this industry too. I am not pretending otherwise.

But when someone’s identity and income depend on a story continuing, how willing are they to reconsider it?

That question applies to all of us.

The question I could no longer avoid

Between 2020 and 2022, I began learning more about MKULTRA and the attempts to manipulate memory and behavior. Some related historical material would later be discussed in congressional hearings.

I started looking back at my own MILAB account more pragmatically.

On Cosmic Disclosure, I had talked about screen memories. I described memories of ordinary activities, including field trips, that I understood were used to cover up training sessions.

Those memories felt real. They had smells, tastes, emotions, and the same sense of familiarity as other childhood memories.

Then I had to stop and ask myself a very uncomfortable question.

If I believed someone could give me a convincing memory of a field trip to hide something else, how could I sit there and tell people I knew which memories were real?

What was I using to tell them apart?

The fact that I could remember a room’s smell? The emotions attached to an event? The feeling that I had been there?

Those were the same qualities I had described in the screen memories.

I could not keep using how real something felt as the final answer.

That did not mean I suddenly knew my memories had been manufactured. It meant I could no longer claim that their vividness resolved the question.

I had reported my experiences honestly. I had perceived them as real. But being honest about a memory and knowing exactly where that memory came from are two different things.

Was I going to hold on to “my truth” because I had spent years talking about it? Or was I going to take this problem seriously, even if doing so damaged my reputation and business?

I decided I had to question it.

What that meant for my lawsuits and my franchise

By then, I had spent years developing intellectual property around my experiences.

I had created science-fiction material based on those experiences for books, graphic novels, games, and other projects. That creative work was part of a franchise I was trying to build.

Meanwhile, other people were taking pieces of my account, adding their own material, and sometimes claiming connections to me that I did not recognize.

I wanted to protect what I had created. I did not want other people to take it over and turn it into whatever narrative suited them.

I moved forward with my lawsuits and deposition while I was still wrestling with these questions.

That is part of the story people need to understand. I was protecting my interests and my intellectual property, even as I no longer felt certain I could separate every original experience from every memory or interpretation attached to it.

A lawsuit wouldn’t answer those questions for me.

I also needed to be clear about the difference between the experiences I reported and the fiction I developed around them. Both were part of my life and work. They were never the same thing.

What I now question about MILAB and GATE

GATE is the name many people know from gifted education. Having been in a gifted program does not automatically mean someone was recruited into a secret military project.

But questions about my own childhood, and what I understood to be MILAB experiences, have not gone away.

Over the years, people who presented themselves as military and intelligence contacts told me things about gifted children, unusual abilities, training, and memory manipulation. I took some of those conversations very seriously.

Now I also have to question what those people wanted me to believe.

I have wondered whether some children were conditioned to carry certain memories, expectations, or behaviors into adulthood. In my own case, I have wondered whether the emergence of memories around my eye injury had a connection I did not understand.

Those are questions. I do not have a record that answers them.

The MKULTRA hearings do not answer them either. Hearing about historical attempts to manipulate memory does not establish what happened in my childhood or prove that someone programmed me for a future role.

But it does give me another reason to stop treating certainty as a requirement.

I am asking people who identify with MILAB and 20 and Back accounts to consider the same problem. If memory manipulation is part of your explanation, how are you deciding which memories to trust?

You cannot make every inconsistency proof that the program was more sophisticated than you thought. At some point, that becomes a story nothing can challenge.

I had to recognize that in my own thinking.

When I began questioning the spiritual message

Beginning in 2022, I became increasingly concerned about the religious ideas being mixed into disclosure.

We were supposedly discussing secret technology, military programs, and extraterrestrial life. But much of the conversation was about spiritual advancement, ascension, humanity’s creators, and beings who would guide us into a new age.

People were arriving with questions about UFOs and leaving with a different understanding of God.

That mattered to me.

I began comparing teachings circulating in the community with Luciferian and polytheistic material. Joy of Satan Ministries was among the sources that concerned me. I wanted to understand where particular ideas came from and how they had entered conversations with people who often had no idea what they were adopting.

I also remember an influential person connected to the streaming platform encouraging me to promote Lucifer in my show content.

That was something I could not brush aside.

As I looked more closely, I became concerned about how much religious belief was being presented as privileged intelligence or advanced extraterrestrial knowledge.

A person could claim access to a secret program, then use that authority to tell an audience who created humanity, what Jesus really was, or which beings deserved their trust.

Those are enormous claims. A military connection does not establish them.

Today, I look at these experiences through my Christian faith. I take the possibility of spiritual deception seriously. The changing identities and messages I encountered were a major reason I stopped accepting my original explanation.

Something that seems impressive or that knows personal details about you does not mean you should trust its guidance.

What I want researchers to look at

I want Michael Salla and others who have spent years researching this subject to look just as hard at the origins of its spiritual teachings.

Go back to the early contactee material. Follow the ideas through the books, organizations, interviews, and conferences. Look into the religious and esoteric backgrounds of the people who helped shape the narrative.

If there is a secret-society connection, establish it with records. Then show what that connection actually explains. Do not stop at a dramatic association.

I see parallels between modern encounter stories and older accounts of spirits, gods, and religious apparitions. Through my faith, those parallels have changed how I interpret what happened to me.

But I want the history examined carefully. Replacing one story with another without checking it would repeat the same mistake.

I have become deeply concerned about how disclosure narratives are shaped and how little audiences know about the interests and beliefs behind them. I have questioned whether some of the people and messages I encountered were connected.

Those concerns are part of why I am speaking. They also need to be investigated with specific evidence.

When I began challenging ideas I had helped promote, I experienced hostility and reputational conflict. It sometimes felt as though people would accept almost anything from me except a change of mind.

I want people to look at what was actually said and done. Disagreement alone does not establish a coordinated campaign, and criticism does not automatically make someone an enemy.

A warning to people who are new to disclosure

If you found this subject through congressional hearings or a popular podcast, understand that you are entering a community with a long and complicated history.

Kind, sincere people are here. There are also people selling answers they cannot establish, people claiming authority they have not earned, and people who know how to turn someone else’s uncertainty into an audience.

Do not confuse access with credibility.

A large podcast can interview an important scientist one week and someone telling an unsupported story the next. Being on the same channel does not give those two interviews the same weight.

Be careful with anyone who says they can recover your hidden memories or tell you that you were secretly trained as a child. Be careful when someone makes you feel chosen and then asks for your money, your loyalty, or access to your family.

And when concerns about exploitation or abuse arise, protecting a conference or a popular speaker should never come before protecting the people attending.

You do not have to join a belief system to investigate UFO reports. You do not have to attempt contact. You do not have to let anyone explain your entire life to you.

Keep people around you who are willing to ask difficult questions.

Why I am saying this publicly

People have written to me saying my information changed their spiritual lives. Some told me it helped lead them away from Christianity.

As my own understanding changed, I could not ignore those messages.

I returned to Christianity in August 2025 and was baptized in June 2026. My business and creative direction are changing with me.

I still want to create compelling science fiction, films, books, and games. But I want my work to reflect Christian values and to examine the spiritual messages people are being asked to accept.

I cannot go back and change everything I said. I can tell people honestly where I stand now.

That includes saying I do not have every answer about my memories. It includes questioning interpretations I once defended. And it includes asking people to re-examine information they first heard from me.

To those still in the esoteric community, especially those who once considered themselves Christians, please take a serious look at what you have added to “your truth.”

Where did it come from? Why did you accept it? What would cause you to reconsider it?

I know what it costs to ask those questions when your identity, friendships, reputation, and livelihood are tied to the answers.

But I could not keep promoting something simply because changing course would cost me.

You do not owe a community your unquestioning belief. You are allowed to step back. You can reconsider an experience without denying that it affected you.

And you are allowed to say that the story you once believed no longer explains everything that happened.

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