My journey part. 1/3


Have now wanted to share my spiritual Journey with you in hopes that it will help accelerate your Journey and be open to more possibilities. This will be written through my “lens” (ego) as it will be easier to write than making it impersonally criptic. English is not my first language, so please be gentle with the criticism and take this story with a grain of salt. Also have patience with reading this post, it will be worth reading it, I promise :). I also have much to share but I am inspired to present my story with a focus on these bits of information.

I suffered a lot mentally while studying in my 18, that was about in 2012. Tried to find relief through partying, sports and dating. Neither helped and I ended upp taking psych meds and going to a therapist. That did not help but even made my situation worse. I thought that the people in the psychiatric field knew all the cures for suffering. So I engaged in psychological books in hope to find a “cure” for my suffering. There was nothing in my life to be sad or anxious about, yet I suffered and it felt also odd that I experienced suffering because of nothing.

One day I did read a book from a psychologist. There was this page where I felt very convinced (and that confirmed my personal bias) that I found the “cure” for my suffering and it was written down in this book. I was 100% certain and convinced so that I just let everything go in that moment and was ready to read the “answer” in the next page. When I flipped the page and let everything go, the depressive thinking about the past and the anxious thoughts about future plans vanished In front of my eyes (or mind). After so many years of suffering, I was now in the NOW moment. The moment felt godly, peaceful and filled with life. That day, I had my best sleep ever. My mind functioned only by the needs of the NOW moment and did not repeat past or stress about future experiences. I was in this state  more than 24h, until a snake/reptilian like illusion came out of the wall and wanted to bite me. In that moment my inner critic got activated and suddenly it felt like I fell down to my previous suffering state. At that moment I was suffering again and stressing about the future and moaning the past, but I had an permanent experience of the NOW that was unshakable. 

Thus afterwards I started willing to go back to this NOW state. Somehow I ordered books like Power of NOW, Tao te ching and way of bodhisattva and rented a room in my town where I could practice these advices in the books. A New Earth by Eckhart tolle became like a Bible to me that I followed And read everyday. His explanation about the ego is exceptional, but his description about the pain body is even more important and related to my story, have that in mind when you read this. After 6 months of training in being in the NOW, I decided to start a life of entrepreneurship as I had trained myself enough in being in the NOW, but one morning I woke up and felt shattered. My ego got smashed into million pieces and I barely could function like a normal human being. The egoic defenses such as denial and repression were permanently destroyed. My mind became like a unstoppable volcano were everything I repressed in the unconscious came back piece by piece to be Integrated in the couscious mind. It was difficult in the beginning of this process, I  heaved like I was in the present moment but painfully in the present moment. I just had no choice than being present, because the ego of “past and future” was now shattered. I could not function, at one point I could not read text as I was gone in this white light and experienced severe mental pain.

That time i felt a  on physical ball of pain in my solar plexus and in the back of my neck. I intuitively used my will and shattered this ball of pain and then the knot behind my neck, then intuitively sucked out or let us say integrated the pain with the “throat chakra”. I did this sort of automatically or “intuitevly”, as I was not trained but was guided by the higher self to do so like that. At that point I could say that the higher self and “I” were one. Although integrated the pain from the knots, I felt still severely dysfunctional. As I felt that I needed to transcend the pain body in order to be normal again (minus the pain body).

One day I was guided to watch Teal Swans merkabah video. I was not familiar with this type of information but what she said that the merkabah is activated in the base of the spine got stuck with me. Next day I was on my bed and scrolling on my phone. Then suddenly something  non physical ball entered the top of my head and made a wave, went through my spine and dropped into the base of my spine and made a wave. Then I ( The consciousness occupying this body) was almost sucked out my body when a portal opened up in front of me and  a group of blue ethereal like beings where standing. That lasted a few seconds but immediately I took my phone and was guided to read a channeled message by a channeler named Anna Merkaba. Here is the link: the picture looked 70% identical to the beings I saw in the portal. They had veins that shined and one could barely see that they were humanoid, they basically blended into the blue background behind.

Next day I woke up and I felt that some weightless, white, hairlike looking, electric stripes started being released from my physical hearth like you would peel a fruit and fly away into my room. It felt like the universe controlled these stripes and the activation from last day gave them the energy to eject from my body. They started flying in the room. The they entered and got simultanously sucked inside by my larynx like spaghetti and the vanished inside my larynx ( or got transcended). Some of the stripes started to electrocute me when they were flying in the air. One of stripes entered my larynx and then exited from the back of my neck, then again entered the larynx and vanished, sort of wanted to teach me a lesson that the universe and the stripes were in charge. One of them landed on my hand and vanished from the sight of my couscioussness. It was weightless and changed my bodily vibration when it landed. Karma came to mind when I though about them. Once I was hanging my clothes to dry, I saw these stripes being inside the concrete walls and flew at me when I saw them and started to electrocute me. Teached me a lesson that these stripes where everywhere in the physical plane. Since then, I had but a few meager occurrences of the stripes. I know that they exist at some level here but i usually forget about them as they are not of my density.

Then I felt like very microscopic particles started to be released from my bodily areas, flown through the body and entered the larynx and vanished/Integrated. The particles are mostly being released from my bodily tissue by an energy that is flowing inside my spine and something that is rotating around my body at even higher frequency. The bodily tissues that are mostly effected by the release of these particles are the eyes, forehead of the brain and the genitals. I have been doing this very slow process of vacuum cleaning the particles inside my bodily tissue by the larynx everyday, from the time I wake up until I go to sleep, since summer 2014. It is a very slow process. It feels like the process will continue for many decades.

Then a few surreal occurrences happened. To much text would be needed to explain but it is not important and too personal so I will leave it behind. I had to move back to my parents at the time as I was so dysfunctional physically and dropped out if school. I could be in bed and doing this process for many hours. I had to be in my bed and focus on this inner process in order for me to do it. Fortunately, my family did not ask me what was “wrong” for many months. Maybe they thought I was depressed or had a heartbreak. I usually was outside at this time, sitting and taking fish air. Suddenly one day, I saw at my neibhours yard an small aircraft that ejected close to the groud and then communicated that is was after a mili second over 500km away. Then I started to see them often I  the sky, very often.

(Much grammatical errors here, maybe I will correct them in the future or not. Part 2 is coming afterwards. Part 2 will take some time as I do not feel that this is important for me personally, but maybe it is important to others to know about this story. It is a human experience and the stuff written here is able to be done by any human.)



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